


My Heart is Silver and Red

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Alcohol, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-02
Updated: 2011-01-02
Packaged: 2017-12-05 13:25:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's always been something about him that I can't quite put my finger on. He's like a light in the darkness, a candle on the mantle in the pitch black of night. Or maybe he's just that way to me. Like his smile could light the world if only I created the tilt of his lips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart is Silver and Red

**Author's Note:**

  * For [piratesbabe123](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=piratesbabe123).



> For [](http://piratesbabe123.livejournal.com/profile)[**piratesbabe123**](http://piratesbabe123.livejournal.com/) for [](http://jrockurisumasu.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://jrockurisumasu.livejournal.com/)**jrockurisumasu**. It was requested that there must be a plot, no porn or smut, no bdsm, no pwp, no character death, lots of fluff and possible angst. I've done my best and I hope you enjoy it!  
> 

There's always been something about him that I can't quite put my finger on. He's like a light in the darkness, a candle on the mantle in the pitch black of night. Or maybe he's just that way to me. Like his smile could light the world if only I created the tilt of his lips. Sometimes I feel like I could orchestrate everything between us, like I could lift one finger or say one word and he'd fall to his knees in front of me. But the sad truth of the matter is that I've never told him really how I feel. I've made him sit around and guess... forced him to try to see into what I really feel without any words from me to help.

I've been here through a lot, watched him change from a redhead to his current natural deep brown, seen his hair short and so long it was unmanageable. I've watched relationships come and go, end in peace or tears. I've seen him laugh and I've seen him cry. I watched him pick up his first cigarette and sat beside him as he smoked his last. I watched him purchase his first designer piece of clothing and I've seen him scrape the bottom of his change jar for enough to buy us both a cup of ramen to share. We've been through it all and yet we've only started.

It feels like it was only yesterday that I took all my cards in hand and took my chances. It was three years ago today, but only an instant in our lives. It was Christmas Eve and I watched him hit on almost every single woman in the entire room. I'm never entirely sure why, but we always have a party on Christmas Eve and every year, I do the same thing. I sit in a corner and watch everyone else get drunk while I sip on ginger ale. But that year... that year was far different. I watched him fail over and over, watched him with an interest I hadn't felt sparked in a long time. He would stare at me for a long few minutes and then try the next woman, doing the same thing over and over. It never seemed to change and I watched him get drunker and drunker as the evening wore on.

Finally, when I could stand it no more, I followed him out onto the empty balcony, my arm slipping around his waist, fingers plucking the newest drink from his hand and tossing it to the ground without care. Those brown eyes stared at me... _into_ me in a way I had always known they were capable of, but had never expected to actually experience. Something in the air changed between us that night and when he leaned down to kiss me, I was helpless to do anything but allow him to. In some way, I wanted it, desired it to a point that I couldn't deny.

We never spoke about it, never agreed on a single thing. It just came into play that we began to hang out more often, we shared kisses and touches that grew with time. But emotion has always been an avoided subject, something neither of us wants to deal with. Instead, we just let what we have exist on its own merit and we knew inherently that we would never see someone else while we're with one another. There's enough trust between us to defeat any wrongs the universe could throw our way.

But tonight... the third anniversary of whatever this is that we have... I can't just let it sit any longer. What started as something like a test has come to be the thing that means the most to me. I just know I need to find a way to tell him this without having any fear.

I finish up wrapping his presents and stack them under the little silver and red Christmas tree in the corner. My eyes fall on the ridiculous thing, watching the red lights chase one another around the tree, a chuckle on my tongue. Leave it to Die to find the oddest looking tree I've ever seen and make it feel like Christmas anyway. There's not a single stitch of green on the thing, but I can't think of it as anything else but a tree. Shaking my head, I turn away from it, leaving the gold-wrapped presents beneath it as I make my way to the kitchen.

The dinner I've planned is almost done. I called up Die's friend Jon to find out how to make a turducken, the stupid thing Die was raving about wanting to try since he'd missed Jon's Thanksgiving a few years ago. The other man had been full of all kinds of help, telling me how to make not only the meat, but stuffing and sweet potatoes as well. I bought canned corn and a lemon meringue pie to go with it. Checking on the turducken, I find it's thermometer has popped up signaling it being done and I don my oven mitts, taking it out and putting it on the stove. Immediately Die's two cats are at my feet, circling and meowing their little heads off.

Shaking my head, I go to find them a can of their wet cat food and put it on a plate for them to share, hoping it'll keep them from Die's meal. Why I chose to slip away to his home while he's at the party, I'll never know. Kaoru promised he'd make sure he only has a few drinks and deliver him safely to me at nine. Somehow it surprises me that our leader doesn't mind our relationship. But then again I can't really think of him as being too picky, given that he dated one of our staff members a while back. I suppose it's just what happens sometimes and we can't blame the heart for wanting what it wants.

I check my watch. It's eight sharp. Smiling, I wait until the cats are done with their meal, tossing the paper plate away and scooping up the two fuzzballs, carrying them to the bedroom and gently putting them on the bed before I close the door. I don't want them interfering with my plans and they seem to know that, curling up on the bed next to one another, starting to purr as they lick one another clean. A little smirk pulls the corners of my lips up and I can't help but feel like they're somehow a reflection of me and Die.

Padding into the bathroom, I strip off my 'work' clothing and take quite possibly the fastest shower in the world. Smelling like Die's shower gel, I make my way back into the bedroom and pull out the clothing I brought especially for welcoming him back home: a nice pair of black slacks and the red button-up shirt he told me he loved so much from the tour before last. My jewelry all goes back on, two chains around my neck, a bracelet on each wrist, and the pinky ring he bought me on my right hand. I leave my feet bare, knowing he'll be the same way when he gets inside.

Done with that job, I quietly change the kitty's collars to the ones I just bought them. For the little Egyptian Mau, I bought a silver rhinestone collar that fits him just perfectly, a brand new fish-shaped tag hanging off it with his name scrawled across it. And for the Ragdoll, I purchased a metallic red rhinestone collar. It's a little big, but I know he'll grow into it. Attached is a matching tag, only the name different. The backs of the tags are the significant part, both of them holding mine and Die's names and phone numbers.

I sit beside them, waiting as I gently stroke their soft fur. Both of them purr almost automatically at my touch, the Mau giving a mew of affection for the attention. It's another twenty minutes before I get up and go to finish drying my hair, putting in a little gel and then finally opening the bedroom door. Neither cat moves as I exit the room, going to fix Die a cranberry and vodka mix, giving myself a ginger ale. There's a significance there too, only I wonder if he'll remember it given how drunk he was that night.

Lighting three tapered candles on the table, I quickly make up two plates of food and then go to stand by the door. Just as the hall clock strikes nine, there's a key in the lock and I hear Kaoru calling his goodbye down the hallway. Die responds and I straighten up, waiting on him to come in.

The moment he enters, he grins at me and lets out a little laugh as he pushes the door shut. "I knew you'd be here."

"Of course." I return his smile and take his jacket from him, putting it in the closet while he removes his boots. Once he's done with that, I gently cradle his cheek in my palm and lean up on my tiptoes to place a chaste kiss on his lips.

He smiles into it and I know instantly this will end just fine. Once I've pulled back, he places a small package in my hand. "Happy Anniversary, Kyo."

My eyes glitter as I pull him out of the entryway and into the kitchen. I echo his sentiments, watching as his eyes fill with a bright light and he sniffs a few times. "Is that turducken I smell?"

I nod and he gives me this look I know I will never forget, the happiness showing me I did right. He settles down in his seat and tastes the drink, a faint blush coming over his cheeks. "You still remember what I was drinking that night?"

"How could I forget?" I respond as I settle into my chair. "I still taste it in my dreams, Die."

He takes another sip and then gestures to my gift. "Open it."

I carefully take off the wrapping and open the tiny box, finding an ornament inside. The front is hand-painted, two turtledoves with their wings around one another. The back has our names and the word _Forever_ written beneath in English. Smiling, I get up and go to put it at the top of his tree, letting it hang there. By the time I get back to the table, Die has both of his cats sitting in his lap, neither one looking at the food, but both demanding attention from their daddy. But he's not paying attention to that, only holding one of the tags in his palm, reading it.

"Is this your way of telling me you want to be with me forever?" He asks it in a manner that shows he doesn't really need to ask, but he thinks it'd be nice to hear it.

I give him a slight nod, sliding my arms around his shoulders. "Just like you put it... forever."

He looks up at me and in the depths of his eyes I find everything I've ever wanted or needed. "Forever," he echoes. And in that moment, I know that the only truth I need is _us_.

**The End**  



End file.
